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Sunday, December 14, 2014

Busy Weekend Ineed


I should say busy Saturday actually, because we did almost nothing today except go to dinner after a day filled with watching Workaholics and eating cinnamon buns. Saturday started in Lookout Valley at the Christmas parade; Chattooine and some other local costuming groups joined in to make the parade a very special event for a friend who was helping with the whole shindig. It was a great community event, and I hope we're a part of it next year even after the realization that oh man! It's tough to walk 3 miles in ill fitting boots.

As we stood in line waiting for the parade to start, my friend Brian texted me to ask if we wanted to attend their wedding. I was excited, shocked, and surprised and although we had a full day already, I wasn't going to miss it for the world! We quickly changed after the parade and grabbed some lunch on the way, and got there just in time to watch Brian and his now wife Shanleigh take their vows. I also got hugs from Brian's mom and brother who I've also missed very much, and I feel very at peace suddenly as if the universe has gotten back on course. I'm looking forward to getting these friendships back on course, and it really meant the world to me that I was able to be there on his special day.

It was weird seeing Ben, Brian, and Richard all interact. Not weird.. just.. that was too many manic short dudes in one place. I think they all like eachother though, so that's good :)

Right after the wedding we met our friends Brena and Jamie (and baby Jericho and the birthday boy Lexas) at Rock City to watch Richard play with the Jericho Brass, and that was followed by a late dinner at Applebees. We were EXHAUSTED when we got home, but what a wonderful day! Life is really good right now, and very busy! I feel like I have a million things to do tomorrow; grocery shopping, cooking for a party at work, buy a secret santa gift, and oh yeah!! I actually have a ton of actual work to do at the office tomorrow! I better rest up!

Oh yeah! We picked a month for the wedding - SEPTEMBER 2015!
I'm hoping September 19th is available at the venue we want...
We shall see ;)

Thursday, December 11, 2014


The above picture is from our Christmas party last year at work – excuse whatever the heck that is I’m wearing. I forgot it was Western Day and so I rocked my favorite tie dye shirt and messy bun. I’m sad, because I can definitely tell I’ve gained weight in the below photo (I'm the one on the bottom right in all black)… I know I have... About 15 pounds or so in the past year… I’m not too hurt by the picture. I think the newer photo below shows that I’ve grown up a bit, my style has evolved, and I felt good about the way I looked that day. I don’t care to ever be skinny, but I would like to be about 10-15 pounds below the weight in the above photo. I hate making New Year’s resolutions, so consider it a wedding resolution to lose some weight before the big day. It’s cliché to make such a promise during this time of year or for such occasions, but I want to be healthier and happier. I don’t want to look at next year’s photo and wonder how I gained even more weight. What I would love is to look at next year’s photo and say, “Wow! I look and feel so much better!”

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Monday, December 8, 2014

Planning

Planning a wedding is hard, and I think having two people with genuine interest in making it special makes it even harder. Everything I thought Richard and I wanted has changed in regards to what kind of wedding we thought we wanted. I had everything pretty well laid out; the colors were jewel tones with dark hues, it had a renaissance theme I guess you would say. Well, that’s all gone now! I’m trying my best to understand what Richard is wanting, while mixing it with what I want as well. I’m keeping my jewel tones, but in brighter hues, because he wants everything bright since the wedding will be in either late Summer or Spring. We want a fun, casual atmosphere with hints of nerdiness including; comic book decoupage items, paper flowers, and our favorite quotes on different things. I think it can work, but I’m basically starting from scratch!

Sunday, December 7, 2014

Getting Things Off My Chest

I’m in a weird head space right now, but I think I can manage to not stress about all this wedding Jazz. I think it’s a choice rather or not I stress about dresses, décor, and small details that really do not matter. I found myself getting worried about table runners and dress materials when the only concern I should have is the end result. I’m comforted that I know who my bridesmaids are, who will officiate, and that I know most of who I want to invite. Richard wants wild flowers and that’s fine with me, I want my ladies to wear navy dresses with jewel tone shoes, and I think his guys will wear charcoal suits. I may wear an ivory dress or something different like silver – I don’t know; I just know it’s going to come from Nordstrom, because they have a HUGE selection of gowns.

I try not to make mention of it, but I’ve learned from the past that if it’s meant to be, if you’re really in love, and overwhelmed with the possibilities of the future and the memories that you are going to be making together, then the actual ceremonial stuff doesn’t matter as much. It’ll be a beautiful ceremony of course, and I’m excited to celebrate with our friends and family, but I’m more excited about what is to come afterward. We don’t want to wait too long to start a family and we want to purchase a house in a year or two… The wedding is just a step.

I know it’s on the minds of some people about my previous relationship, and it’s only come up a few times thankfully. I think Richard and I had to mentally prepare for hearing about it, and he’s much better than I am about handling that type of thing. I feel hurt that now well over 3 years later, people are still bringing it up and the mistakes I made (it’s just mentioned, I just hate hearing any piece of it). Yes, I made a mistake. Yes, I followed through with something that I wasn’t excited or sure about. Yes, I got talked into a lot of things. Yes, I got in deep before I was able to find the strength to leave that situation. Yes, I should have listened to everyone. Finally… Yes, I do look back on it now and realize that I deserved much better, that it was a blind mistake, and that I really should have said something or done something about it before signing a legally binding document. I understand now that I was dealing with a sick person who was completely blind to just how badly he treated everyone around him, and how unacceptable many of his actions were from the lying, cheating, and his abusive/controlling nature. I saw him physically and verbally abuse his parents frequently, and I thought to myself often that the last thing I would ever want to do is bring a child into this world with him and frankly I hope he doesn’t have that privilege with any woman. Which brings me to Richard and I’d favorite quote, “you plan shit seeds, you get shit weeds.” He needs not to breed.

I wanted to cover that subject and get it over with. I do worry about bit, but for no reason. Everyone around me is encouraging and happy about Richard and I finally tying the knot. And this time I have that wonderful overwhelming feeling of love and positive emotion. I look forward to making him a father someday, and sharing our lives together. We have had very few “bad days” in these 3 years, and haven’t really ever had a serious fight. Our “big” fights were always about me wanting to get married, and him not thinking we were ready. Well, that’s changed and here we are. <3

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Let's Start a "What Not to Do list"!

We are thinking about moving the wedding up to Fall 2015, so we’ve started planning a bit, and OMG!! We have to stop and/or change the way we are approaching this now before it gets out of control!!

Mistake #1: Assuming everyone wants to or is excited to help. Lucky for us, we have A LOT of people excited to help, and have been offering left and right without anyone even asking, and we appreciate it so much! What’s weird is, people we thought would be offering help or would be more excited are seemingly indifferent. It could be that they have a lot going on, or it could be that it’s not that important to them – either way, it’s easy to get disappointed when you assume things like this. Appreciate what is offered, but don’t be too hurt if those closest to you just aren’t “into it”.

Mistake #2: Being offered entirely too many things at once, and feeling bombarded by different offers. Okay, this was my fault. I posted a simple question on Facebook asking for venue suggestions. I got a few simple answers, but man! People started sending me all types of stuff! It’s easy to feel obligated to look into different venders and services that people suggest, but really… a polite no thank you may be okay, although I would also expect some people to be insulted if you didn’t take their offers or suggestions seriously. I got three-four emails about planners. One was my cousin, but she does these things on the side, and has some contacts and knowledge about some venues in town so that’s actually great! We already have a couple of great friends that have offered to throw this thing together, so I think we’ll be ok. Again, appreciate it, but don’t take anything personally.

Mistake #3: Wanting to invite everyone you have ever known, ever. I feel like Richard may have this issue, and he knows an outrageous amount of people. I forget that. I’m sure he’ll issue an invitation to the Jericho Brass, he has several friends, and co-workers so that’s fine. Honestly, he’s probably going to invite more people than me, and that’s absolutely fine as long as we get to a nice round number. Expect only half to show up, so even at 200 people, thats only 100 people which is fine. It really doesn’t matter. Again, the venue needs to be chosen first, and we need to know if they allow us to bring outside food and drink. If so, we have some wiggle room on our budget. Most of the venues I’ve seen offer tables and chairs – I really hope we can find a place that is affordable and that can do that for us. Point is, I think we feel obligated to invite people just because we were friends with them at some point, and they are aware of our wedding – that’s not the case. People may be butt hurt over it, but it’s our wedding. Furthermore, I’m not going to feed all these people that have been barely invested in my life besides the occasional Facebook post.

Mistake #4: Forgetting it’s our wedding. At the end of the day, if we don’t like something than we need to change it. If something happens and we are unhappy, than it needs to be fix. We can’t do things out of obligation or out of sheer guilt. We want to enjoy this process, and maybe it will take separating ourselves from everyone else in regards to planning this shindig. (wedding party and excited/helpful people excluded)

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

So Far, So Good...

This is day three of my pre-wedding diet!
Okay… Not exactly a huge accomplishment, but I am already seeing the impact of my way of eating, and I think it’s going to work out as long as I have the willpower to make it through the next couple of holidays and random get-togethers we have planned. My down fall before has been those little splurges we all have every so often leading to huge cravings the next day; no splurge = no cravings. Instead, my “cheats” will be things like a few dark chocolate chips or a spoon of organic nut butter; these aren’t exactly cheats, but little snacks to keep my sane. My keys to success? Packing my lunch every day and choosing green over white in regards to my side dishes. Last night we had chicken coated with almond meal and a few other spices; Richard had fries, and I chose to have a green salad with cranberries, spinach, and a bit of ranch. Tonight we’ll have fish and sautéed green beans, which I’m looking forward to – I LOVE fresh green beans!

Since I sit at a desk all day long, my calories will be low – around 1200 a day. If I workout, I’ll eat more! I’m always watching my carbs and sugar, but not to the point of misery. I would LOVE to lose 40-50 lbs in the next 16 months; that is 100% doable since that is less than a pound a week! I need to lose 0.78 lbs a week to meet the 50 lb goal LoL!! I think I can manage that if I stick with it. I really need to lose the weight within a year and be in the maintain lane by January 2016 so I can dress shop without worrying about losing more weight, and my dress not fitting. That’s still only about a pound a week; harder, but not outrageous!

I’ll keep you updated ;)

Monday, December 1, 2014

Happy Belated Thanksgiving!

I hope you had a great Thanksgiving!
We did the same thing we did last year; had dinner with my parents and grandparents. My brother had to work as per usual, but I’m hoping to see him Christmas, and if not on Christmas, than later that evening (he works close to 80 hours a week sometimes). We had all the good stuff; turkey, ham, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, green beans, slaw, rolls, dressing, coconut cake, and banana pudding – all of it was delicious. We ate entirely too much this weekend between that, and going out to eat multiple time. We are definitely cutting back this month on going out to dinner!

Sunday afternoon we had lunch with Richard’s dad, step mom, brother, sister in law, and their kids for a last farewell before his dad and step mom move to Florida. Even though Richard and his dad have been bickering back and forth, I think it’s been a lot of feelings coming to reality since they won’t be seeing each other as often. They’ll be fine I’m sure. We talked briefly about the engagement, but I don’t think their ideas quite go along with ours in regards to ways of celebrating that big day, so that conversation was cut short. I think people assume our year + engagement is a sign of planning a big, over blown, expensive wedding, and that’s not the case. We have a lot going on – I don’t have time to plan right now with working full time and going into the last semester of school in January. We’re going to manage booking our venue in January, but after that it will be sporadic in regards to planning. I hope to have an Atlanta trip planned for my ladies in the late spring for some dress shopping! Maybe spring break? Then we’ll get down to business in the summer. I think it’ll l go by very quick! It’s only a year and 4 months – that’s really not THAT long. Yes, I could plan a wedding in about 6 months, but that also takes a lot of time and money that we don’t have at the moment, and it takes stress we don’t want to deal with. We’re incredibly happy right now, and we’ve got a lot going on, a lot of good things! The wedding is exciting and we’re excited about it, but we just got in engaged!! Let’s enjoy this, and then we’ll get down to planning. Deal? We’re not planning anything extravagant, just a celebration with friends and family, food; with a lot of help from people we know, because we are lucky to know a lot of talented people.

Speaking of planning, our friend Alex is planning an engagement dinner for us and that is amazing! It’ll be at the end of this month, and we’ll be getting the invites out this week I assume. She is really great for doing this for us, and by the way… our friends have been the best during this time! I am just overwhelmed with their awesomeness! Things go easy when you have so many people around you supporting you, and are legitimately excited for you – I think I’ve mention that, but it needs to be repeated over and over!

With all these celebrations and food, yes… the wedding diet is a thing, and I am working in it. I’m starting today to get in my better eating routine again with my salad for lunch with low sugar dressing, and my grilled pork chop for dinner and sautéed veggies. I like eating this way, so to me it’s not really a diet. I’m basically cutting back on starch, sugar, and I’ll be working on weight training to get my arms and back toned up for what will likely be a strapless dress ;)

More to come!