Working Mom Woes

Look. We get it. We’re away from our children for the majority of waking hours Monday - Friday. We’re selfishly sipping Starbucks with perfectly manicured nails, relaxing in our office, escaping from our responsibilities as a parent to gleefully go to work everyday without one concern of the wellbeing of our little one who is safely dropped off at daycare or at grandmas. Oh and those weekends and holidays off?! Let me tell ya, it’s fabulous!

I don’t know if you can tell, but I’m being sarcastic.

The reality for most working moms is much different, especially those where both parents are in the workforce - it’s not that simple. You’re fighting sleep regression while having to still wake up at a specific time so you’re not late for work. There are no naps later or sleeping when the baby sleeps, because you’re at work dealing with your CFO or interviewing candidates for a position that you’re responsible for. During a bad night of teething, you’re equal concern is sometimes how you’re going to make it through the day and not fall asleep while driving to and from work (or at your desk). When your child is sick (which luckily we’ve made it almost a year without more than a stuffy nose **knock on wood**), your concern is, “do I have the sick time to take off and still get paid?” Oh and the guilt! It’s not enough when you get updates through the day and find out your child reached a big milestone without you there, you get guilt from every mom community other than those specifically catered to those who work outside the home. Just today, I was asking for sleep advice leading with, “CiO is not an option” - the first question was, “but why?” The second was a CiO solution, and the 3rd and best comment... “Maybe he’s waking up to spend more time with you since you work FT.” Can someone pull this dagger out of my heart, because frankly my hand is tired from having to do it so often. File that under the rest of the back handed comments:

• “You’re brave, I could never trust MY kids with someone else.”
• “Must be nice getting a break from your kids every day!”
• “Oh! You work? I actually gave up a lot of luxuries so I could stay home.”
• “Can’t you work part time? Can’t you work from home?”
• “Why did you have a kid if someone else would be raising him?”
• “At least you get days off!”

When did we get into the mentality that kid’s being isolated with one parent throughout the week was better than them experiencing a whole village of people anyway? What luxuries are these people referring to? Food and a roof? And a break from my son?! If you mean worrying and thinking about him all day, while requesting updates, then okay. And people, I’ll say it loud for those in the back - “WORKING MOMS DO NOT GET DAYS OFF!” We’re moms 24/7. Can you hear that “CEO of Stay at home Mom”?! Would that be more easily understood if I painted in on repurposed pallets via Pinterest? When I get off work from working my 8 hours, I go home and usually work for another 8 hours - caring for my son, cooking, cleaning, ect... Weekends? Those mostly involve things I couldn’t do through the week. Holidays? Still working, still taking care of my responsibilities with a baby on my hip. All those things a mom normally does is packed into half the time to assure that we have a moment to relax. I always think it’s weird when people say that a working mom gets some sort of day off from working AND from being a mom - what do they think happens when a working mom is off on any given day? Maybe they think we then send our baby to work, because we’re selfishly obsessed with money and other luxuries.

...And stop asking mom’s if they can quit, work part time, or work from home. Some of us work out of necessity, some work with certain ambitions that require us to physically be at work, and some are experiencing both at once. Don’t you think if those were options and something a mom wanted, she likely has already looked into it? **eye rolls for days**

I know the “mommy wars” (a totally exaggerated title, but okay) exist. I know it’ll never stop. I know that some moms will think that they hold the key to perfection. I know that when I roll into school events in my blazer, late because my showing ran over, eating fruit snacks that have been in my pocket since the dawn of time, with that all day make-up look, curls that didn’t make it past lunch, and a prepackaged, non-organic, GMO loaded, gluten rich bake sale item - those judgey moms will just look at me like I’m ruining Iwan’s life and eating all the steak. They will say that they don’t know how I do it sarcastically. They may make back-handed comments, and I won’t care. I won’t care, because I can’t care or I’ll make myself miserable. Besides, as of now my son is awesome, striving, surprising, and I could not have ordered a better kid off a menu. Knowing that, I have no regrets.